Reviewer: Screwball Wankball

Category: Movie

Subject: Closer

'Relationship realism'

Unengaging, pointless, tiresome, bollox. Hateful.

Don't believe the poster.

Law - Irksome, inconsistent.

Owen - Credible.

Roberts - Weak, Handsome.

Portman - Feeble, beautiful.

Mark out of Seven:2